Thanks Giving or Thanks Pretending

With Thanksgiving coming up, it seems like a good time to check in on your organization’s appreciation meter.

Appreciation, like any good thing, is not something you and your team should always apply. However, experts claim a good ratio of appreciation to correction is 20:80, for every two corrections or comments you share consider sharing eight appreciative comments.

A senior executive told me a little while back about a game he used to play called Ten Pennies. He used to keep ten pennies in his right pocket with the goal of moving all ten pennies to his left pocket by the end of each day. Each time he expressed appreciation he moved one coin to his left pocket. What a great idea!

But not all expressions of appreciation are equal.

Some appreciation is mixed with an undertone of negativity, some is flat and mechanical and the bottom line is that, unless other people feel appreciated, expressing thanks is just not working. Other times it’s the appreciated team or individual that is blocking the thanks giving.

For thanks giving to be effective people, both the giving and the receiving end need to have a very specific set of strategies or synaptic pathways. One such strategy is KindExcellence™, the ability to balance giving and taking, boundaries and caring, people orientation and focus on results. Without KindExcellence™ people can become resentful (because they are giving when they don’t want to give), they may not understand the value of being appreciative (they really want results and think of saying thank you as an unnecessary, fake behavior). Without certain strategies, people can not access the value of thanks giving, and all teams are left with is thanks pretending.


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